Matthew (Sermon 26)
Are you a meddler??
Part 2
So mind your own Business!!!
VS 4 "Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?"
WE aren’t talking about gossip here, we are talking about confrontation, unwanted advice!
So why is this Verse so important anyway???
(1) To wake us up, and bring us to our senses.
· It is as if Jesus says, “How can you do this?”—meaning, “It’s not appropriate, surely, for you to confront another. You haven’t thought things through, or you would not speak like this!”
(2) To show we are disqualified to judge when our own house isn’t in order.
· Imagine Hitler speaking against racism,
· Or Playboy magazine speaking against sexual promiscuity,
· Or a corrupt TV evangelist speaking against inappropriate behavior.
So why do folks meddle in others' business?? (Not any one in here)
· Sometimes we feel, because God delivered us, we can deliver them.
o That’s crazy, no one else did it for us but God,
o But we somehow now feel qualified to fix another.
· Maybe I did not have their particular problem—never have, possibly never will.
o But I tell myself that I am the one to help them.
o The truth is, I don’t have a clue what it is like to be them or to have their particular weakness.
o Nothing could be more insensitive than my trying to help them. But I carry on.
· This is the problem with Christians today.
o Gay, we can fix it.
o Drunk, we got that.
o Addictions, we can help.
o All without ever having experienced anything that has happened in their lives!
Our blindness.
· My blindness to my own plank, then, leads me to judge your lack of vision, spirituality, involvement or sound theology.
· My plank also blinds me to the fact that you have graces I don’t have, gifts I don’t have, and virtues I don’t have. You actually excel in areas where I fail!
“Every person is worth understanding.”
· If only I knew their background, their parents or childhood traumas, almost certainly we would be no different.
· Therefore, when you and I attempt to take the speck out of our brother’s eye, we show grossest disrespect.
· When I say to you that I am qualified to take the speck out of your eye, I am saying you are inferior to me in some way, and that I am a cut above you.
Before you give your unwanted and unwelcome advice, remember what it was like when it happened to you!
· Ever happen to you?
· Can you remember the last time someone gave you unwanted advice?
· Intruded in your life?
Can you say “if only”?
· How many of us could tell stories of “if only.”
· If only we had minded our own business!
· A meddler is uninvited, but also unwelcome.
· Would you want to go where you are not wanted?
· Remember this when you are tempted to say, “Let me take the speck out of your eye.” You are an uninvited and unwelcome guest.
Meddlers are not only uninvited and unwelcome, but their opinion is unwarranted.
· That is, the meddler has no right to speak.
· Jesus has a right to judge. Why? He was sinless.
o There is no speck or plank in His eye.
o He died for us—His blood gives Him entry to do what He pleases with us.
o We are bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:20).
o Jesus sees clearly. His eyes are like “blazing fire” and He “searches hearts and minds” (Revelation 2:18, 23).
o Jesus has a right to enter, to intrude, to confront. He loves us totally. He has nothing to prove. All He does is for our good.
· But you and I do not have an authorization from the Holy Spirit to meddle in another’s affairs. Why? There is a plank in our eye.
Meddling is unwholesome.
· It is harmful to your well-being.
· It is not good for you. It oppresses. It demoralizes. It opens a path for many of the negative effects that Satan can put on a person.
· Why is this? It is because meddling almost always comes from a spirit of fear (which gives Satan an entry point).
· The person who meddles is probably governed by fear, and by a need that is rooted in unresolved conflict.
· The person who meddles often is covering his or her own sense of guilt. Pointing the finger is copping out.
So, what does meddling do to the person on the receiving end?
· It hurts, possibly makes him or her feel guilty,
· Probably lowers his or her self-esteem and discourages.
· In a word: It is counterproductive.
· It achieves the opposite effect of what you intended.
· Why? Because it is not God’s way for us to help one another.
So how do we respond to those who meddle in our lives?
· First, agree with them.
o “Settle matters quickly with your adversary” (Matthew 5:25).
o We have already seen: Soft words—a “gentle answer”—turns wrath away (Proverbs 15:1).
o After all, there is usually a bit of truth to what they are saying. So a good reply is: “I see what you mean.”
o By agreeing with them, you defuse them. You even learn from them.
o Paul admitted he was a debtor both to the wise and the foolish (Romans 14:1).
· Second, you can thank them for what they said to you.
o This will achieve one of two things.
o If it annoys them, it shows they were up to no good.
o If it pleases them, you have avoided an unhappy confrontation—you even let them save face.
o You may ask: “Will I not be abetting them, encouraging them to keep meddling?” I reply: "You are not their judge. You are not the one to straighten them out."
· Third, always maintain a sweet spirit.
o After all, you don’t want to grieve the Holy Spirit by the way you react.
o Their meddling—almost certainly of the devil—is aimed to throw you off.
o If you grieve the Spirit by the way you react, the devil has achieved his aim.
o Remember: Soft words turn away wrath.
What you must not do is defend yourself.
· “If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matthew 5:39). Always maintain a sweet spirit.
· Agree with them. Thank them.
· Don’t try to impress them or show them how good or right you think you are.
· Never, ever try to make yourself look good.
· Never punish them.
· Perfect love casts out fear which has to do with punishment (1 John 4:18).
· Never get even—or try.
· Never make them look bad.
There are two more things you can do:
(1) Ask them to pray for you. This is when you can voice something that is most valid. Say to them, “I need all the help and prayer I can get.”
(2) Pray for them. But don’t tell them you are doing that! But by all means, pray for them.
Close
Meddling is of the devil. Like it or not, you and I are the devil’s instrument when we meddle in others' affairs. It hurts them and backfires on you—and that is Satan’s aim in all of this. But the devil always overreaches himself. If you will be like Jesus, turn the cheek and not defend yourself, God will turn evil into good. Job’s situation changed when he prayed for his “friends” who made his life so miserable (Job 42:10). When you meddle, confess it to God (1 John 1:9). When they meddle, pray for them.
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