Gathering the Heard!
Form Single to Married!
Sermon 2
Matthew
5:38-48
A wedding to a war!
I want to start where the Bible
starts, and the Bible starts with a wedding.
Genesis 2:23–24 (NLT)
23 “At last!” the man exclaimed.
“This
one is bone from my bone,
and
flesh from my flesh!
She
will be called ‘woman,’
because
she was taken from ‘man.’ ”
24 This explains why a man leaves his
father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
The Bible starts with a wedding,
and it quickly moves to a war.
Genesis 3:4–5 (NLT)
4 “You won’t die!” the serpent
replied to the woman. 5 “God knows that your eyes will be
opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and
evil.”
How
many of you have had that experience? The story of Genesis is, our first
parents are married, and immediately Satan, the enemy of God, shows up, and he
moves his war from heaven to earth, and from assaulting God and the angels to
assaulting a husband and wife.
The truth is that marriage is in the context of war.
· A spiritual battle rages between the enemy of God and his
people.
· For those of us who are Christian, our marriages are on the
frontline of that battle
· And the closer you move toward ministry, it even intensifies,
because Satan absolutely hates God.
· He hates God’s people, and he particularly hates marriage, and
he hates Christian marriage, because Christian marriage is a portrait of the
gospel.
Isaiah 54:5 (NLT)
5 For your Creator will be your
husband;
the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name!
He is
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel,
the God
of all the earth.
Revelation 21:2 (NLT)
2 And I saw the holy city, the new
Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed
for her husband.
A
marriage is described Paul!
READ Ephesians 5:21-33
Paul says in Ephesians 5:
· That husbands should love their wives like Christ loves the
church.
· He’s saying that a husband and wife, in loving union, communion,
and covenant are kind of like the relationship that Jesus has with the church
· That as Jesus leads the church lovingly, and humbly, and
sacrificially, so men are to lovingly, humbly, sacrificially lead their
families.
· Wives respect their husbands, they are showing something of the
respect that the church has, or at least should have, for Jesus, as the head of
the church.
Satan Attacks Marriage!
So Satan
attacks marriages, because marriages are an illustration of the gospel; and,
furthermore, if Satan can destroy a Christian marriage, especially a ministry
marriage—those couples that are seeking to honor and serve God with their gifts
in the marketplace, home, or ministry—then he knows that he can affect
generations. He can have an effect on their children, and their grandchildren,
and their great-grandchildren.
· Satan Tempted Jesus because he was
the Groom
· I have seen the affects on my kids
· Carrie and I guard very closely to
show are kids a Godly marriage
· The closer you walk with God the
More Satan will look for ways to destroy your marriage
· And never forget Satan is very
shrewd and cunning. Don’t ever underestimate Satan!!
It’s a very serious matter to be married as a Christian.
I knew this from reading the Bible,
that Satan attacks families. What I find curious is that Satan didn’t even show
up to attack Adam and Eve until they were married. And for some of us, we have
this naive notion that if we just get married, then our trials, and our
troubles, and our temptations will go away. No, then our enemy will come, and
the battle will, in fact, intensify.
· If you
have been married for a minute you know this
· Heck if
you’re planning a weeding you know this
· With
marriage comes trial and issues that double that of being single
· Loving
someone all the time, looking past their faults all the time, Get old and
that’s when Satan gets ya!!
So how
do we guard our marriage against Satan??
Before
we get to deep!
From
the book real Marriage
Taking Out the Trash: deal with conflict wisely
· Conflict will come (married people, is this true?),
· You need Lots on repentance
· And you need lots of forgiveness
· And you nee to avoid bitterness (“The true test of whether or
not we are bitter is our tongues”).
·
Proverbs 6:17 (NLT)
17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands
that kill the innocent,
Psalm 10:7 (ESV)
7 His mouth is
filled with cursing and deceit and oppression;
under his tongue are mischief and
iniquity.
Conflicts will come, fight will happen.
We have to learn to fight with love and respect. We have to learn to forgive,
to repent when we are wrong, and don’t let bitterness set in!
Friend with Benefits
· (A book reviewer) This was an awesome chapter. A lot of books on
marriage don’t talk about the importance of friendship - the Driscolls do. I
appreciate that.
· You have to be friends first
· You have to do life together
· You have define beautiful by your spouse, not someone else’s
Physical beauty will fade, sex will
stop but your friendship will last as long as you live! Cherish your best
fiend, your confidant, your soul mate, whatever, however you define it. But
just as no other Gods is to replace the one true God, no one on this earth
should replace your best friend!
A new
Study: I have talked about before
I think the best sociologist in this area is a man
named Bradford Wilcox, at the University of Virginia. He did a massive study, and
he published a book on his findings called Soft Patriarchs, New Men. And he
says that for those who are Christian, there are three variables that do not
necessarily guarantee marital success, but drop the divorce rate in half. I
know we have covered these before, but Christians, married Christians need to
understand marriage is a war and the devil will attack you and here are the
best way to defend your marriage!
Number
one: shared theology.
· You
agree on Jesus and the Bible and marriage and roles.
· You
both believe in God
· The
trinity
· The
forgiveness of Sin
· That
Jesus was the Son of the holy God
· That He
died a horrible death for your sins
· He rose
on the third day
· The
Holy Spirit was sent to dwell in us
· We sin
daily against God and others
·
We have to agree, the Bible is God’s Word, Jesus
is God’s Son, the law of God exposes our sin, we need the grace of Christ, we
need the humility of the Holy Spirit, we need to repent to one another, we need
to forgive one another, we need to obey the Bible because Jesus is Lord and I’m
not. If we agree on those things, you can build a marriage. The rest is all
details.
And
this ties in to number two!
Number
two: regular, joint church attendance.
· Husband
and wife going to, part of, involved in community with the same church.
o
This does not mean show up Sunday and sleep half
way through and go home
o
This means being in community, doing life with,
being a part of a church
o
Do you even know what Christ defines as a church
o
It’s not the building, its you, its me; it’s the
body of Christ!
· This
allows you to be under teaching, under authority, in community, getting
accountability, positive examples, negative examples, encouragement for being
obedient, and discouragement for becoming disobedient.
o
Under teaching means learning what God intends for
His people
o
Under authority, being help accountable, seeing
other struggle and helping in the work that God has called us all to do, REACH
THE LOST!
· Go to church together. And don’t just go to
church together, be in community, get in a small group, teach the kids
together, be a part of the body of Christ.
o
Get in a small group
o
Serve on Sunday together
o
Go feed the homeless
o
Help the arena team
o
Take your family, and help someone in the church
out
o
Go buy groceries for someone you know needs it
together
o
BUT MOST OF ALL SERVE TOGETHER!
Number
three: bring your faith home.
·
Do you read the Bible together at home?
o
Do you talk about your struggles with sin together
o
I know this sounds chessey, but the closer you are
the harder it is for Satan to get in
·
Do you read Christian books together?
·
Are you in
a small group together?
o
We have tons of small groups
o
For women to grow
o
For men to grow
o
The one that saddens me the most most is single
gals with out there spouse
·
Do you pray
together?
o
If so, your odds of divorce go down by 50% because
the couple that prays together stays together
o
You need to cover your marriage in prayer
o
Pray for your spouse, your kids, your dog, your
church, BUT MOST OF ALL PRAY!
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