Ask the Pastor!
Marriage ain’t it grand!
So here is how this thing
is going to work, I till read some questions and answer them, all these are
like minded questions or at least close!
Question:
(1) Is it
possible to have a marriage with someone who is not a Christian and does God
approve of that marriage!
·
Yes it is
possible to have a marriage with a non-Christian?
Hosea 1:2
(NLT)
2When the Lord
first began speaking to Israel through Hosea, he said to him, “Go and marry a
prostitute, so that some of her children will be conceived in prostitution.
This will illustrate how Israel has acted like a prostitute by turning against
the Lord and worshiping other
gods.”
·
Does God
approve? Yes/and No
1 Corinthians 7:15 (NLT)
15 (But
if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In
such cases the Christian husband or wife* is no longer bound to the other, for
God has called you* to live in peace.)
· A Christian marries a non-Christian
2 Corinthians
6:14–15 (NLT)
14Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How
can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with
darkness?
15What harmony can there be between Christ and the
devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?
o You’re not supposed to do that, but some
people do.
o I would beg you, I would implore
you, I would invite you, do not marry a non-Christian.
· Sometimes two people marry as
non-Christians, one becomes a Christian, and then the non-Christian says, “I
did not sign up to be married to a Christian
o They make an ultimatum like,
“You’re not allowed to pray with our kids, take them to church, or tell them
about Jesus or else!”
· A third scenario, where two
professing Christians marry, and at some point in the marriage, one becomes
what we will call apostate. They decide, “I want nothing to do with Jesus,
Bible, and the church, and so I’m leaving you.
Question
(2) In a
marriage you have tried your best to keep your marriage together even after you
have been extremely hurt from your spouse stepping out of it for 3 years with
another women and u forgave him.. We except Jesus Christ in our life's 100% but
it seems my spouse uses God as a crutch to keep on sinning.. It feels like he
puts the sin first and he says he will never quit... Is it wrong to finally let
go? I feel God has a plan 4 me but not in the marriage..
·
First God does
not condone sin! He hates divorce!
·
From an article
I read!
Thirty
years ago in February 1985, I got divorced. So far I’ve lived fifty-nine years,
and without a doubt divorce was the worst season of my life.
Nothing
I’ve suffered since that time even comes close. Not a wayward child, not a
stroke, not the betrayal of a close friend, not job loss, not watching the
collapse of a ministry, not the death of a parent, not a root canal when the
Novocain didn’t work—absolutely nothing compares to the horrific pain of having
a spouse decide, “I Don’t” after saying “I Do.”
·
So what can you
do?
o If he is a professing Christian see your pastor
o Seek counseling together
o If your spouse wont go, go by yourself
·
And if divorce is the only option after that you
cant be the referee!
Frist let me tell you:
· You don’t get to decide if you have
biblical grounds.
· You can’t be the umpire in your own
life.
· just ‘cause I teach you the Bible
doesn’t mean, you can say: “Oh, I have grounds for divorce.
· I can’t tell you either in a 140
character text message!
Just
because you want a “godly divorce,” you can’t pick whatever information
justifies your position and then render a verdict about your own status and
then declare yourself holy in the sight of God. It’s not that easy.
Question:
(3) If men communicate side by side
and women face to face then how do men and women communicate.
·
One is effort
on both sides, the wife needs to learn to communicate side by side and the man
needs to learn to communicate face to face
·
Two put some
tools in your tool box
o
Get in a
marriage small group
o
Read a book on
Christian based marriage
§
The five love
languages
§
Real marriage
§
What did you
expect
§
And understand
Gods call on your marriage
·
Through prayer
and study time together
·
Expound about
how Carrie and I work things out
Question:
(4) My
question is this, (as I experienced it) If you love someone, God knows your
heart, and your partners heart....so if both people love each other, then as
far as the sex thing, marriage doesn't change the heart. So what is it about
marriage that makes a sexual relationship okay, if the heart is still the same
after marriage?
·
First and
foremost is that biblical marriage is different than secular marriage one is a
covenant and one is a contract
o God established marriage as a
covenant, not a contract (Malachi 2:14; Proverbs 2:16-17). It is important to
understand the difference between these two. Three important differences exist:
§ A covenant is based on trust
between parties. A contract is based on distrust.
§ A covenant is based on
unlimited responsibility. A contract is based on limited liability.
§
3.
A covenant cannot be broken if new circumstances occur. A contract
can be voided by mutual consent.
·
Second the
Christian marriage is our best way to show the world what a relationship with
Jesus looks like
o
When we divorce
as Christian we are not only letting each other down, but we are also not show
a true picture of Jesus
o
Would Jesus
leave you because you drank
o
Worked to much
o
Didn’t talk to
him?
o
NO
Question:
(5) How can
husbands and wives have a better marriage?
There
are three variables that do not necessarily guarantee marital success, but drop
the divorce rate in half. Married Christians need to understand marriage is a
war and the devil will attack you and here is the best way to defend your
marriage!
Number one: shared theology.
· You agree on Jesus and the Bible
and marriage and roles.
· You both believe in God
· The trinity
· The forgiveness of Sin
· That Jesus was the Son of the holy
God
· That He died a horrible death for
your sins
· He rose on the third day
· The Holy Spirit was sent to dwell
in us
· We sin daily against God and others
·
We have
to agree, the Bible is God’s Word, Jesus is God’s Son, the law of God exposes
our sin, we need the grace of Christ, we need the humility of the Holy Spirit, we
need to repent to one another, we need to forgive one another, we need to obey
the Bible because Jesus is Lord and I’m not. If we agree on those things, you
can build a marriage. The rest is all details.
And this ties in to number two!
Number two: regular, joint church attendance.
· Husband and wife going to, part of,
involved in community with the same church.
o This does not mean show up Sunday
and sleep half way through and go home
o This means being in community,
doing life with, being a part of a church
o Do you even know what Christ
defines as a church
o It’s not the building, its you, its
me; it’s the body of Christ!
· This allows you to be under
teaching, under authority, in community, getting accountability, positive
examples, negative examples, encouragement for being obedient, and
discouragement for becoming disobedient.
o Under teaching means learning what
God intends for His people
o Under authority, being help
accountable, seeing other struggle and helping in the work that God has called
us all to do, REACH THE LOST!
· Go to church together. And don’t just go to
church together, be in community, get in a small group, teach the kids
together, be a part of the body of Christ.
o Get in a small group
o Serve on Sunday together
o Go feed the homeless
o Help the arena team
o Take your family, and help someone
in the church out
o Go buy groceries for someone you
know needs it together
o BUT MOST OF ALL SERVE TOGETHER!
Number three: bring your faith
home.
·
Do
you read the Bible together at home?
o Do you talk about your struggles
with sin together
o I know this sounds chessey, but the
closer you are the harder it is for Satan to get in
·
Do
you read Christian books together?
·
Are you in a small group together?
o We have tons of small groups
o For women to grow
o For men to grow
o The one that saddens me the most
most is single gals with out there spouse
·
Do you pray together?
o If so, your odds of divorce go down
by 50% because the couple that prays together stays together
o You need to cover your marriage in
prayer
o Pray for your spouse, your kids,
your dog, your church, BUT MOST OF ALL PRAY!
Question:
(6) Now for
my "Ask the Pastor" question. I have been a single father for four
years. Now I have found the woman I believe is meant for me. From what I
understand of the bible, the order in which I am to give my love and time to is
suppose to be......... God, spouse, then children. Having put my daughter first
in my life all these years. I struggle with making my bride number two on that
list. I feel many people end up putting their children before their spouse. Any
suggestions on how we can keep this hierarchy in the proper order?
·
First what we
just covered will help!
·
Get a good
godly mentor
·
Get your but in
church every Sunday and get under good teaching
·
Pray about it
daily
·
Talk about it
with your spouse
Question:
(6) How can I get my husband to appreciate
anything I do for him? Answered
·
You cant, Jesus
can!
Ephesians
5:25–26 (NLT)
25For husbands, this means love your wives, just as
Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her
26to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing
of God’s word.
·
MEN HEAR ME!
·
If your not
treating your wife like a princess
·
Living to take
care of her
·
Loving her
completely
·
Being sensitive
with her
·
Being her protector
from the world
·
SHAME ON YOU!
Proverbs 31:10–12
(NLT)
10Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is
more precious than rubies.
11Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly
enrich his life.
12She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her
life.
·
You want a
great wife treat her like one
·
Women are
emotional, you cant tear her down and expect her to take care of you
·
You need to
love her like Christ loves the church
·
You’re the head
of the household
·
Your held
responsible
·
So be a MAN!
